FagHag Mom

Free and Equal in Dignity and Rights

2011-12-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

Hillary Clinton's epic and history making speech to the United Nations brought me to tears.

"Gay Rights are Human Rights and Human Rights are Gay Rights."

My Thoughts

The quest for equality has been fought on many fronts through out history, and that fight continues today.

I always say when confronted with LGBT inequality, "it is the same argument, different minority", and if you look back into the pages of our most shameful history, you will find that religion has been used to justify some of the most horrific treatment of those considered "less and beneath" in society.

Native American's, Blacks, Jews, Women, LGBT and countless others have suffered despicable crimes, many of which were committed by "upstanding citizens" who quoted the bible as proof that their actions against these "savages, heathens, and non-believers", were blessed and allowable according to God.

Incredibly, during these religious "assimilation's" no one ever seems to question why their God would condone the beating, torture, rape, murder and mistreatment of his own creations... apparently "all created by God, and all his children", is a quickly forgotten belief when confronted with persons who are physically, sexually, or spirituality different from themselves.

America does not have Christian roots, there were religious beliefs that existed here long before the "white man" stole this country. Many of those religious beliefs were based on nature and the realization that all persons are naturally created and therefore, equal.

No one is more important or greater than another.

Invaders, yes I said invaders, of this country, brought with them their own conceited religious views and a dogmatic presumption that any who did not believe or worship as they did were heathens that should either be converted or systematically annihilated.

Sadly, the people who journeyed to this country to escape religious persecution, subjected the Natives to the same persecution they had fled.

A persecution that has continued through out the history of this country from one minority to the next.

America was built on contradictions and hypocrisy.

"I do not want to be persecuted for my belief's, but it is okay for me to persecute others for theirs."

"My freedoms are constitutionally protected, but yours are not."

I dare say if you base your right of religious expression on the Constitution, but fail to recognize that the freedom of religion you rely on applies to all persons, even those with a different religious view than you, you are a hypocrite.

For how do you uphold Constitutional rights for yourself, while denying them to others?

Further, according to the Constitution we are all endowed with certain inalienable rights, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Why would you presume that those inalienable rights only apply to yourself and others like you?

So many American's believe that the Constitution protects their speech, their religion, their freedom to live their life, yet in the same breath they turn around and condemn others, denying them the very rights they base their freedoms on.

I can marry whom I want, but you can't, because my religion says it is an abomination.

Your religion may accept same sex marriage, but my religion says homosexuality is wrong...my religion is Constitutionally protected, yours, in my opinion isn't, so my religion is the one that decides the morality of this issue.

And even those who are not using their religious beliefs to control the civil and human rights of others, believe that their life, liberty and pursuit of happiness are Constitutionally protected, yet obviously believe that those they view as different from themselves, do not share those same Constitutional protections.

Just because you disagree with someone's life, does not mean that their rights are less than yours.

While you may not agree or understand the differences between you and another person/s, while you may believe that homosexuality is morally wrong, your belief's and feelings on the subject does not eliminate their rights.

It would be wise for all to remember, if individual beliefs and morals were powerful enough to control the rights of others, none of us would have any rights.

Bullying, It Stops Here (Anderson Cooper)

2011-10-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

Jamey Rodemeyer: 250 Balloons to Remember the Fallen...

2011-10-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

North Carolina House Fast-Tracks New Marriage Amendment Without Public Comment

2011-09-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

Bravo and a very grateful thank you to the members of our legislature that spoke out against this bill. You will have my vote, because you stood up against hate and fear and tried to make a difference in this world. But to those that supported this discrimination, I will do whatever it takes to make sure you are not re-elected. We do not need people who are ruled by hate, intolerance and fear in our government.

My Letter to the NC House and NC Senate, regarding SB 514 or The Anti-LGBT Amendment

2011-09-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

These are my Children…

I am very upset about SB514 and its rushed passage through the house yesterday, and its presentation to the Senate today…and I think as a constituent, I have the right to inform you exactly what I think of this proposed amendment and show you the faces of some of the people you are discriminating against.

This is my 18 year old son Jordan. Jordan is a highly intelligent, wonderful, loving member of society. He also happens to be an openly gay man.

Jordan came out when he was 14 years old, and it has not been easy for him. Anyone that thinks being gay is a choice should have to face the hate and discrimination that Jordan has faced on a daily basis; I assure you they would quickly change their minds. Jordan has been spit on, called derogatory names, assaulted, and discriminated against constantly. This is the same type of discrimination, bigotry and hate that you are encouraging with this marriage Amendment.

This is my 16 year old daughter Mariah. Mariah is a smart, independent, funny, free spirited young woman, she also happens to be openly bi-sexual.

Mariah also came out at a very early age, knowing that you are loved and accepted, just the way you are, makes a difference in how children perceive themselves and she knew that our feelings for her would not change in the slightest, because of our acceptance of her brother’s sexuality.

Mariah has also faced discrimination on a daily basis…from peers and teachers. Mariah has been punished at school based solely on her sexuality, by teachers who share many of the same views as the legislature that is supporting this horrible, discriminating amendment. Mariah has also been assaulted, called derogatory names, and discriminated against.

Both of my children agree, that being gay isn’t a choice, because if they had a choice in the matter…neither one would choose to live with such hate everyday of their lives.

Look at my incredible children; they are just like your children and grandchildren. Mariah and Jordan have the same hopes and dreams as every other child in this state, the same dreams that your children and grandchildren have. Jordan and Mariah dream of success, peace, harmony, they dream of love, home, children and family and they dream of someone to share their hopefully, long and fulfilling life with. This marriage amendment will shatter those dreams and make the dreams of my children and people like them unobtainable.

Who are you to deny my children their dreams? Who are you to tell them that their dreams are not as important as the dreams of straight children? Who are you to tell them that they cannot grow up and realize those dreams because of discrimination, bigotry and hate? Who are you to tell them who they can marry and spend their lives with?

By passing this amendment you are not only telling my children that their dreams of the future are worthless, but you are sending a loud and clear message to them that they are worthless. You are informing my children and the other LGBT children in this state that they are not valued the same as straight people, you are sending a message to not only my children, but to every LGBT person in this state that they are second class citizens who are not entitled to the same rights and protections under the law as straight people.

You are completely going against our state constitution which states in plain language that “all persons are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, the enjoyment of the fruits of their own labor, and the pursuit of happiness.”

Tell me as a parent:

• How am I supposed to tell Mariah and Jordan that the state that they call home hates them so much that they will pass a bill that could write discrimination into the Constitution that prevents them from marrying the person they love?
• How am I supposed to tell my children that in the state that they call home, they are regarded as second class citizens?
• How am I supposed to break my children's hearts because the state they live in cannot accept them because they were born LGBT?

• How am I supposed to protect them, when our own legislature passes bills and laws that promote the hate, intolerance and bigotry they face every single day, instead of laws that protect them and their civil rights as human beings?
• How am I, as a parent, supposed to reassure my children that they are beautiful, wonderful, deserving, members of society, when our own lawmakers are saying loud and clear that they don't believe they are?
• How am I supposed to protect those I love from discrimination like this? How can I keep them safe when our own legislature is the one letting everyone know that they do not deserve the same protections as everyone else?

How would you like to be the parent that has to tell their children this?

As a parent I want what all parents want for their children, health, happiness and love. I dream of the day they marry the person they were meant to spend the rest of their lives with, you are not only shattering their dreams, but the dreams of a mother who wants what every parent wants for their children. You are destroying the happy ending I have promised Jordan and Mariah their entire lives.

What you are doing also sends a message to the citizens in this state that hatred and intolerance is acceptable. You are telling them that they do not have to treat LGBT people as equals because in the eyes of the law, they’re not. You are allowing your own fear and prejudiced views to dictate who is important in our society and who is not.

I urge you, please vote no on SB514…it is not a bill that protects marriage, but a bill that destroys the dreams and aspirations of people like my children. It is a bill that classifies a group of people as being inferior to other people in this state and violates the very idea our country was created on.

Remember these are not nameless, faceless people you are harming…these are my children and people like them.

Sincerely,

Leesa Nixon, (registered voter, NC)

*Sadly, today the NC Senate voted in favor of putting this motion on the May ballot, during the republican primary...a time when most democrates do not go out and vote...but am urging each and every one of you...go to the polls, vote no to the Marriage Amendment..stand up against sneaky politic's, discrimination and hate.

No-one Should Have to Live Like This...Hunted and Persecuted for Their Sexual Orientation!

2010-12-18T23:00:00.000-08:00

Moses, a gay Ugandan man seeking asylum in the United States, hides his face as he attends a news conference in Washington. (Jewel Samad)

Can you imagine the fear you would have to be in to publicaly wear a paper bag on your head? I can't, but the person in this photo sure in the hell does. This picture, taken here in America, is of a gay Ugandan man who is seeking asylum in the United States, so he can be protected from the persecution of gays that is occurring in Africa.

According to an article in the Washington Post,

"Persecution of gays is intensifying across Africa, fueled by fundamentalist preachers, intolerant governments and homophobic politicians. Gay people have been denied access to health care, detained, tortured and even killed, human rights activists and witnesses say.

The growing tide of homophobia comes at a time when gays in Africa are expressing themselves more openly, prompting greater media attention and debates about homosexuality. The rapid growth of Islam and evangelical forms of Christianity, both espousing conservative views on family values and marriage, have persuaded many Africans that homosexuality should not be tolerated in their societies.

"It has never been harder for gays and lesbians on the continent," said Monica Mbaru, Africa coordinator for the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, based in Cape Town. "Homophobia is on the rise."

Fearing for their lives, many activists are in hiding or have fled their countries."

With purposed legislation of a "kill and imprison the gays and their supporters bill" in Uganda and the "outing" of gays in newspapers calling for them to be hanged, attacked, and/or persecuted I would be running for my life and begging for a safe place to live too.

With the removal of sexual orientation from the U.N.'s resolution on extrajudicial, summary and arbitrary executions, (supposed to be voted on again Tuesday) the fear that homosexual's in Africa and other countries are feeling is understandable and very real...there is a price on their head's, and they are in immediate danger.

To completely understand the horrific nature of this very real threat, I recommend that you watch Missionaries of Hate. This is what hatred causes, the persecution, discrimination and annihilation of a certain class of people, in this case homosexual's, because of a perceived belief... a very wrong perception based on the propaganda and lies of Religious leaders and politician's.

These people are using the emotional fear tactic's that hit closest to the hearts of many, children...they claim that homosexual's prey on children and initiate them into the homosexual "lifestyle", a belief that has been disproved by competent research time and time again. In fact, statistic's show that most pedophiles identify as "straight".

There is also the blatant use of misconceptions about homosexual sex, such as homosexual's eat "poo poo" and fist each other, driven home and embedded into minds by the showing of graphic video's and pictures to onlookers and their congregation, including children!

Nor is it said where they obtained these video's and pictures, but I am sure they picked the most graphic ones, the most sexually extreme ones, they could find...for all I know they could be watching, "Two Girls, One Cup", which by normal standards among, straights, gays, lesbians, bi, and transgender person's alike was found completely disgusting!

Now I know many homosexual's both gay men and lesbian's and I can honestly say, I have never met one who liked to eat shit.

In fact most gay men I know recommend the use of enema's to cleanse the anus before sex. (If it is going to put out there, then put it all out there truthfully!!) As for the fisting, well what happens in private is none of my business, and to each their own. I know that there are people who practice fisting, but I don't believe this is a normal part of sex, for straights or gays, but more of a preference by certain individual's that have the right to do what they want, so long as it is between consenting adults.

Furthermore, it must be said, that some straight people also engage in these very same sexual experiences, anal sex and fisting, but I do not see a call to have them executed or imprisoned.

These people, ministers, and government official's are calling for the deaths and imprisonment of a specific class of people, based on "God's law", of course while they are using the "texts of terror" to convince people that homosexuality is an abomination to God, they are wearing, what appears to be blended fabrics, with their hair cut and the corners of their beard's rounded...which is also viewed as abominations and against "Gods Law. Am I the only one who sees the absolute hypocrisy involved here?

I think what drives the cruelty of these people home is in Missionaries of Hate, when Mariana Van Zeller, asks Otto Odonga, a member of the Ugandan Parliament, what he would do if one of his four daughters was a lesbian, and he basically states that if one of his daughters was a lesbian he would order and call for her death himself "to show everyone that this behavior is bad".

"Let her die, because she is doing the wrong thing...I am so disappointed that she is my daughter."

That these people could harbor so much hate in their hearts for homosexual's that they would kill their own children, that the hate they hold in their heart trumps the greatest gift on this planet, the love of a parent for their child, shows exactly how twisted and demented these people really are.

I hope the true extent of this hate, opens the eyes of this world, and that people stand up against these tyrants who would kill and imprison people because of who they love.

Rachel Maddow Interviews David Bahati, Author Of Ugandan 'Kill The Gays' Bill (VIDEO)

The True Christmas Spirit, Giving From the Heart

2010-12-16T14:27:00.000-08:00

For me the Holidays are for celebrating the love of family, and giving to those who are less fortunate then ourselves. Sadly, this time of the year many in our LGBT community do not have family to share the holidays with, due to their families inability to accept them and love them unconditionally, because they are homosexual, something they had absolutely no choice about.

So I am urging all of you to open your homes and hearts to our LGBT&Q community members who have no where to go this Christmas, no one to share this wonderful season with, who are spending this season alone at home or on the street, feeling like no one gives a damn about them.

According to the Los Angeles Times,

Every year, hundreds of gay youths end up alone on the streets of Los Angeles County, where they make up a disproportionate share of the at least 4,200 people under 25 who are homeless on any given day.

A recent study found that 40% of the homeless youths in Hollywood, a gathering spot for these young people, identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual or unsure of their sexual orientation. Five percent say they are transgender.

These startling statistic's are just from Los Angeles County and Hollywood.

In June, The Center for American Progress estimated "that gay and transgender youth account for 20-40 percent of homeless youth in the US, while only about 5-10 percent of the general youth population is LGBT."

And it isn't just the homeless LGBT youth and adults that are struggling and have no where to go this holiday season, many LGBT, have been disowned by their family and are finding themselves alone during Christmas.

So I am asking my readers, to reach out during this season of love and giving. If you know someone in this situation I am asking you to reach out to them and open your heart and home, buy them a gift, invite them for dinner, let them know that you care and that you are delighted they are a part of your life.

If you don't know anyone who is in this situation, you can contact local LGBT organizations and ask where you can drop off care packages and presents for homeless LGBT youth or adults, you can invite them out for dinner,donate blankets and warm clothes, give gift cards to McDonalds, Burger King and numerous other restaurants, so they can get something to eat...anything...just please reach out to our LGBT community that could be alone and without family this time of year!

You can visit http://glbtnearme.org/ to find an LGBT organization near you.

Also, the spirit of giving to this community isn't only needed once a year, there is a continuing need for donations all year round, so don't just block yourself into giving only once a year, give all year long if you can, be there for our LGBT community, become the family they are lacking.

Remember, the greatest gift that you can give yourself, is the love you give to others.

(Remember to be safe about who you invite into your home)

MARRIAGE EQUALITY and MY OPINION OF THE CHRISTIAN ARGUMENT AGAINST IT

2010-12-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting here for the last few months trying to figure out the right words to describe exactly how important marriage equality is to this country! What it comes down to is this, you cannot treat citizen's of this country as second class citizen's based solely on who they love and want to marry. We live in a country built on diversity, to treat people differently because of their sexual orientation goes against the very fiber this nation was built upon!

The constitution does not say some men are created equal, it says all men. The Constitution does not say all men are created equal, unless of course they are gay, lesbian, or trans-gender!! Christian groups that are fighting tooth and nail to prevent same sex marriage need to realize that the very rights that give them the freedom to be Christian's and to speak their mind, gives gays and lesbian's the right to marry who they choose.

Sadly, these Christian groups also fail to acknowledge that there is supposed to be a separation of church and state, that this was included in the Constitution of this country for a very specific reason, so religion could not be used to force another's belief's upon those who do not believe as they do. You are free to believe what you want, what you are not free to do is force your belief's, your moral's on to other people. Do not forget that many of the first immigrant's to come to this country, came here to escape religious persecution. For a group of people who have been persecuted for their differences and belief's through out history, Christian's sure do their share of persecuting those who are different than themselves.

See for example:

Slavery:

Slavery and the Southern Philosophes

"Most Southern clergy called upon Abrahamic tradition to claim support for slavery. Eugene D. Genovese points out that “Abraham was, in their oft-expressed view, simultaneously a great slaveholder and God’s favoured patriarch of a household that included his many slaves” (38). The Southerners held that the biblical texts admonishing slave owners and slaves on their responsibilities promoted the institution of slavery. Southern clergy believed that slaveholding was never condemned in the Bible, that Jesus and his disciples never espoused abolition principles and, further, that the master-slave relationship was superior, and more Christian like, than the employer-employee relationship of the free labour system. "

Interracial Marriage:

Loving v. Virginia

"The trial judge in the case, Leon M. Bazile, echoing Johann Friedrich Blumenbach's 18th-century interpretation of race, proclaimed that

“	Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix. ”

Women's Suffrage:

THE BIBLE AND GENDER EQUALITY

Other Religions:

Brewing Up Trouble: Wicca and the U.S. Military

All men are created equal! Life, Liberty, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!

Frankly, my pursuit of happiness is my business, it is none of your concern what makes me happy in my life...just that I have the constitutionally protected right to pursue my own idea of happiness and the ULTIMATE happiness in this life is someone to share it with. Who that person is my choice and mine alone! You do not have to live the rest of your life, with my chosen spouse, I alone have to spend the sleepless nights due to their resonating snore and pick up their dirty underwear, so butt out and tend to your own marriage and let me tend to mine with the spouse of my choice.

The LGBT&Q community has been lowered to a tier on the civil rights ladder that is beneath that of even convicted serial killers. For example, Richard Ramirez, The Night Stalker was allowed to marry Doreen Lioy after being convicted of killing 13 people, yet the cute little, law abiding, gay couple next door are barred from getting married by many of the laws in this country.

Even if a LGBT person lives in a state that allows same sex marriage, it is not recognized on a federal level, thanks to The Defense of Marriage Act! What this means is that at a federal level these couples are not married and therefore do not qualify for any federal recognition! Including but not limited to, being able to check married on their Federal Tax Return, claiming Social Security when their "state recognized spouse" dies or the denial of citizenship if they marry a person not a resident of this country.

Countries that have legalize same sex marriage have not been destroyed with fire balls from Heaven, haven't had a decrease in straight marriages, nor has the institution of marriage been destroyed or harmed. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, they haven't experienced any negative outcomes from their decisions to allow people who love each other to express that love in the highest form possible, Marriage.

In a country where the divorce rate is roughly 50%, maybe the focus should be on your own marriage instead of worrying about the marriage of other American Citizen's. Honestly, if you are worried that same sex marriage will destroy your heterosexual marriage, then it must not have been very strong to begin with.

Your marriage is not supposed to be based on outside influences, it is supposed to be based on the love, trust, companionship, and commitment you have with your spouse and if you are allowing others to interfere in that, then your marriage is bound to fail. Do not try to blame the failure of your marriage on others, when you really need to place the blame of its failure on you and your spouses shoulders. If your marriage is strong it will survive anything, if not, then you might have more luck on your second or third!!! Although fair warning the percentage of failure for these marriages is 60% to 73% failure rate respectively. Marriages fails because of the people in them, not because of same sex marriage!

The fight against marriage equality in this country is being waged by a group of bigoted hypocrites, who base their entire argument on the bible. Amazingly, they quote only the verses that fit their argument and ignore the ones that they are breaking in their daily life. While the bible may say that man shall not lie with man, and woman shall not lie with woman...it also lists a whole slew of other "Abominations" that I witness "Christian's" doing everyday, from eating shell fish...( we see you all at Red Lobster after church) to divorce, wearing polyester, rounding the corners of your beards, harvesting your entire field, committing adultery, and the most important of all Judging others:

Romans 2:1 "Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgement on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things."

Furthermore, the rules of the bible only apply to those who believe in it. Those belief's are not shared by everyone and as I have already stated, you do not have the right to force your belief's on to others.

In my opinion, the Christian religion is a barbaric religion full of hate and discrimination, that calls for the murder of those who are not Christian's or who do not follow the Christian path.. including children. How any self respecting woman could buy into the Christian religion with its sexist views escapes me, how any person who has every cried over the death of a child, by a serial murderer or child abuser, could follow biblical teachings escapes me...especially when the bible calls for the death of children that curse their parents or neighbors and even brags about the deaths of all the first born children of Egypt.

If we were to read about these deaths in a newspaper, or see a report about them on T.V. today, we would be calling for the arrest and prosecution of the person responsible for these horrific acts, but because it is written in the bible, Christian's believe in, and even embrace these horrific deaths as completely acceptable. How can the death of any child be acceptable? How can anyone believe in a God that would have innocent children slaughtered?

To choose one "sin" from the bible and focus solely on it, when there are in fact numerous others that are viewed in the bible as equal abominations, that Christian's participate in daily, shows the true nature of their reasoning and evokes questions into the real reason behind this Christian quest. Since I do not see them calling for laws banning divorce or allowing marriage to only occur if the woman is a virgin, nor are they calling for laws on the various other Abominations listed in their biblical text, I can only conclude that they are homophobic hypocrites that pick and choose which laws of their God they choose to follow or try to have enforced, which does not include the ones they, themselves violate.

As a parent my greatest wish is to see my children live happy, long lives filled with love, with the current discriminatory laws on the record, that cannot happen. My son, Jordan is gay. Jordan and his partner Chase have been together 2 years and 3 months...they live together, they love each other deeply and one day they hope to get married, but because of the bigotry and discrimination in this country they will not be ALLOWED to marry who they want to spend the rest of their life with.

They will be denied the highest recognition of their love and commitment to each other by people who have no right to interfere in their life or love. They will be denied the equal rights that they are entitled to because a group of hypocrites feels the need to try and control their life, and force them to live their lives according to the "Christian" God they believe in..a God who's words, these Christian's themselves violate every chance they get.

Quite Disgusting.

2010-11-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

Quite Disgusting.

A great story on the lies, and sickening behavior of Daric Rawr, the person who pulled the suicide hoax of "Terrel Williams". I really hope he ends up being prosecuted for what he has done. I will write some more on this subject later...when I am done digging. Look for a big post cause I am really pissed about this.

The Student Non-Discrimination Act

2010-10-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

SENATORS WHO ARE NOT SUPPORTING THE STUDENT NON-DISCRIMINATION ACT

In order to become a nation of no tolerance of bullying, harassment and discrimination, our elected officials have to say no to bullying, harassment and discrimination by passing laws that protect our nation’s children! Urge our Senator’s to pass The Student Non-Discrimination Act of 2010 Bill Number S.3390.

Our nation, as a whole, has to speak out and say, “We will not tolerate hate and discrimination in America’s schools!”

In light of the recent LGBT suicides due to discrimination, including harassment, bullying, intimidation, and violence, I would think this Act would be at the forefront of this country’s mind. Protecting our students and young American's should be the first concern of this country. Our children, regardless of race, color, sex, religion, disability, national origin, sexual orientation and gender identity need to be protected—they are after all the future of this country!

In loving memory of Asher Brown (age 13), Seth Walsh (age 13), Justin Aaberg (age 15), Billy Lucas (age 15),Tyler Clementi (age 18), Raymond Chase (age 19) and the countless other LGBT youth that have ended their lives due to the constant bullying, harassment and discrimination they have endlessly faced.

Please contact these Senator’s and ask them to support The Student Non-Discrimination Act of 2010!

Alexander, Lamar - (R - TN)

455 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4944

Barrasso, John - (R - WY)

307 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6441

Baucus, Max - (D - MT)

511 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2651

Bayh, Evan - (D - IN)

131 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5623

Bennet, Michael F. - (D - CO)

702 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5852

Bennett, Robert F. - (R - UT)

431 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5444

Bond, Christopher S. - (R - MO)

274 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5721

Brown, Scott P. - (R - MA)

317 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4543

Brownback, Sam - (R - KS)

303 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6521

Bunning, Jim - (R - KY)

316 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4343

Burr, Richard - (R - NC)

217 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3154

Burris, Roland W. - (D - IL)

387 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2854

Carper, Thomas R. - (D - DE)

513 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2441

Chambliss, Saxby - (R - GA)

416 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3521

Coburn, Tom - (R - OK)

172 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5754

Cochran, Thad - (R - MS)

113 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5054

Collins, Susan M. - (R - ME)

413 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2523

Conrad, Kent - (D - ND)

530 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2043

Corker, Bob - (R - TN)

185 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3344

Cornyn, John - (R - TX)

517 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2934

Crapo, Mike - (R - ID)

239 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6142

DeMint, Jim - (R - SC)

340 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6121

Dorgan, Byron L. - (D - ND)

322 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2551

Ensign, John - (R - NV)

119 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6244

Enzi, Michael B. - (R - WY)

379A RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3424

Feinstein, Dianne - (D - CA)

331 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3841

Goodwin, Carte P. - (D - WV)

188 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3954

Graham, Lindsey - (R - SC)

290 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5972

Grassley, Chuck - (R - IA)

135 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3744

Gregg, Judd - (R - NH)

201 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3324

Hagan, Kay R. - (D - NC)

521 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6342

Hatch, Orrin G. - (R - UT)

104 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5251

Hutchison, Kay Bailey - (R - TX)

284 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5922

Inhofe, James M. - (R - OK)

453 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4721

Inouye, Daniel K. - (D - HI)

722 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3934

Isakson, Johnny - (R - GA)

120 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3643

Johanns, Mike - (R - NE)

404 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4224

Johnson, Tim - (D - SD)

136 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5842

Kaufman, Edward E. - (D - DE)

383 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5042

Kohl, Herb - (D - WI)

330 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5653

Kyl, Jon - (R - AZ)

730 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4521

Landrieu, Mary L. - (D - LA)

328 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5824

LeMieux, George S. - (R - FL)

356 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3041

Levin, Carl - (D - MI)

269 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6221

Lieberman, Joseph I. - (ID - CT)

706 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4041

Lincoln, Blanche L. - (D - AR)

355 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4843

Lugar, Richard G. - (R - IN)

306 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4814

McCain, John - (R - AZ)

241 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2235

McCaskill, Claire - (D - MO)

717 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6154

McConnell, Mitch - (R - KY)

361A RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2541

Murkowski, Lisa - (R - AK)

709 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6665

Nelson, Ben - (D - NE)

720 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6551

Nelson, Bill - (D - FL)

716 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5274

Pryor, Mark L. - (D - AR)

255 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2353

Reed, Jack - (D - RI)

728 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4642

Reid, Harry - (D - NV)

522 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3542

Risch, James E. - (R - ID)

483 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2752

Roberts, Pat - (R - KS)

109 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4774

Rockefeller, John D., IV - (D - WV)

531 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6472

Schumer, Charles E. - (D - NY)

313 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6542

Sessions, Jeff - (R - AL)

335 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4124

Shelby, Richard C. - (R - AL)

304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5744

Snowe, Olympia J. - (R - ME)

154 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5344

Specter, Arlen - (D - PA)

711 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4254

Stabenow, Debbie - (D - MI)

133 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4822

Tester, Jon - (D - MT)

724 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2644

Thune, John - (R - SD)

493 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2321

Udall, Mark - (D - CO)

317 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-5941

Udall, Tom - (D - NM)

110 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6621

Vitter, David - (R - LA)

516 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4623

Voinovich, George V. - (R - OH)

524 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-3353

Warner, Mark R. - (D - VA)

459A RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-2023

Webb, Jim - (D - VA)

248 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-4024

Wicker, Roger F. - (R - MS)

555 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

(202) 224-6253

MARRIAGE EQUALITY and MY OPINION OF THE CHRISTIAN ARGUMENT AGAINST IT

2010-08-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

See for example:

Slavery:

Slavery and the Southern Philosophes

Interracial Marriage:

Loving v. Virginia

"The trial judge in the case, Leon M. Bazile, echoing Johann Friedrich Blumenbach's 18th-century interpretation of race, proclaimed that

“	Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix. ”

Women's Suffrage:

THE BIBLE AND GENDER EQUALITY

Other Religions:

Brewing Up Trouble: Wicca and the U.S. Military

All men are created equal! Life, Liberty, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!

Romans 2:1 "Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgement on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things."

A Thousand Moms

2010-07-20T13:19:00.001-07:00

LOOK it's me!!!

Original Air Date: July 10, 2010

Mayberry Mom

Join us with the outspoken Leesa Nixon of North Carolina, former foster care youth, who is mother to "one straight, one gay, one bi, another straight and one too young to call." She fiercely fought alongside her son to get him to his prom with his boyfriend, enlsting the support of Jack Mackenroth, noted designer for Project Runway and gay activist. Join Dr. Ray, Fred, and Dave for a lively discussion with Leesa. She really speaks her mind. Passionate too are our Pom Pom moms, the Embraceable Ewes. Where will their Partridge family bus show up this week? Plus news and views about LGBT/Q youth, in foster, adoptive and birth families. We want to make a difference.

Seriously, this is an important subject and what this organization is trying to do is desperately needed. What they really need is donations and volunteers! You can visit their site at the following link: http://www.athousandmoms.org/

America, Home of the Two Faced Politician and the "we can do it, but you can't philosophy."

2010-05-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

White House spokesman, Robert Gibbs, urges "an end to "the persecution and criminalization" of sexual orientation and gender identity."

YET, these types of laws are still on the books in the state of North Carolina and many others in this country!

Why doesn't Mr. Gibbs, The White House, and our Politicians urge changes in this country?Remove these types of laws HERE! Failure to do so just shows the world that American Leaders believe in the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality.

Don't preach equality, fairness, and an "end to the persecution and criminalization" of sexual orientation and gender identity" when you are still practicing those very same things in this country.

Set an example, legalize marriage for all Americans and take these horrible laws out of our own statutes!

Here is the law in North Carolina, as you can see it is a Felony to engage in a "Crime Against Nature" in this state and many others.

SUBCHAPTER VII. OFFENSES AGAINST PUBLIC MORALITY AND DECENCY.

Article 26.

Offenses against Public Morality and Decency.

§ 14‑177. Crime against nature.

If any person shall commit the crime against nature, with mankind or beast, he shall be punished as a Class I felon.

What is a crime against nature?

Here is the definition:

"Crime against nature" has been defined by North Carolina courts as "sexual intercourse contrary to the order of nature," including all "acts of bestial character whereby degraded and perverted sexual desires are sought to be gratified."

While this definition is incredibly broad, enough so that it could conceivably include masturbation or sexual positions once thought "unnatural," the CAN law is now only used in cases involving oral sex (fellatio and cunnilingus) and anal intercourse.

While they state that this law is unconstitutional due to the findings in Lawrence v. Texas, please note that it is still on the book and has not been amended to include a defense of consent.

American Politician's and "spokespeople" are presenting this country to the world as a country who feels prosecuting sexuality is wrong, while the very types of laws they are condemning remain on the books in our own country.

You cannot preach equality to the world while denying it to your own citizen's.

America’s Educators, are they teaching hate and intolerance?

2010-04-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

CHASE AND JORDAN GET TO GO TO THE PROM!!!

Jordan and Chase

Senior Prom that much anticipated rite of passage for American youth. The moment they wait for all school year, it is the signal that they have finally made it through 4 years of high school hell and in a very short time they will be adults, living on their own, conquering the world.

The dreaded question, “will you go to prom with me?” has been asked and answered, “Yes”. What to wear has been argued about, discussed and finally agreed upon. Transportation, check! All the hard stuff has been addressed and they are all ready to go, right?

Wrong!

For Gay, Lesbian, Bi and Transgender teens, finding a date and something to wear to the prom is the easy part. The hard part comes when school officials tell them that they cannot bring their same sex date, or dress in a manner the school officials feel is inappropriate, “like wearing a tux if you’re a girl or a dress if you’re a boy.”

Take for example, the case of 17-year-old Chase, a student at Starmount High School in Booneville, North Carolina, who was called into the principal’s office April 6th. The following is Chase’s account of what happened next.

“Today, April 6, 2010 I was called into the Principal's office, I was unaware of the reason at the time. When I entered the office, Mrs. Parker was in the room, sitting at her desk and so was Mr. Samuel, the Vice Principal. Mr. Samuel was sitting in the corner of her office. I went in and Mrs. Parker, the Principal, asked me to shut the door, which, I did.

Mrs. Parker then asked me to sit down, and I think I did, though I only remember standing, but I believe I sat down. Mrs. Parker then tells me, that she didn't realize it until she looked at my permission form for prom again that I was planning to bring a boy to the prom or something like that, and then she informed me that I couldn't bring a friend as my date.

Mrs. Parker stated, that it was because other people would want to bring friends and it’s a rule that they've had for a while now, that you could not bring friends to the prom. I informed Mrs. Parker that Jordan is not my friend, but my boyfriend and she replied that she knew my situation was different but she couldn't let me bring him.

I then asked her, “why?” And she replied that she knew my situation was different but if people saw me bring my "friend" then other guys would want to bring their, and I quote, "Home-Boys" to prom. When I didn't respond, Mrs. Parker then asked me if I had a "backup friend" a girlfriend to bring instead. I stated, "No, I won't go" (Implying that I would not go if he couldn't).

Mrs. Parker then asked me if I had already bought my prom ticket and I said no. Then she said nothing else and neither did I, until I asked if I could go and she said that I could. I told her thank you and she said thank you and I left.

Mr. Samuel never said anything the entire time I was there; I believe he was there to insure that the conversation did not get out of hand.

This is not a word-by-word account of the entire meeting. But the "I know your situation is different" and "Other guys would want to bring their "homeboys" are exact quotes of what Mrs. Parker said to me.”

The discrimination that Chase was confronted with has been resolved. I called and spoke with his principal and informed her that not allowing Chase to bring his boyfriend to the prom was discrimination and a violation of his constitutionally protected rights. I threatened to call the ACLU, (which I did) and go to the media.

After our first conversation, I was contacted by Mrs. Parker, who informed me that she was waiting on the school attorney to call.

April 7th, Mrs. Parker left a message on my phone stating that she had spoken with the school attorney and that the school was going to allow Chase to bring my son Jordan to his Senior Prom “as his outside date” and that what they were going to have to do, was change the rule to allow students to bring a guest and not necessarily a “date”.

To be fair to Mrs. Parker, I got the distinct impression that she did not agree with this policy and was only trying to follow the rules that were in effect in her school district before she got there. She immediately went to work and corrected the issue at hand.

I applaud Starmount High School for their quick actions, I brought this issue to their attention and in one day they not only changed their initial decision, they changed their policy to ensure that this would never happen again. Although they change their policy to state “guest” instead of “date”, it is still a step in the right direction and they should be admired for their willingness to change. It is my hope that all schools would respond to these issues in such a fair and timely manner.

Thankfully Starmount High School did solve the problem very quickly, and decided to put a stop to this unfair treatment. Unfortunately, other schools are not willing to resolve these issues and discrimination without being told do so by the courts.

The educators in these cases are teaching hate and intolerance to our nations children, the example they are setting with their treatment of these gay, lesbian, bi and transgender children only enforces the view that these teens and all homosexual’s should be ostracized and denied the same fundamental rights as straight people.

How is America the land of the free, where all men are purportedly created equal supposed to achieve a society of fairness, equality and justice, when the very people charged with educating our children are behaving in such a discriminating manner?

There are laws and school rules that prohibit hate crimes, discrimination, bullying, and harassment, but when the very people who are in charge of enforcing those rules and laws, are guilty of breaking them, who protects these children from them?

** Special Note of Interest

There is currently a bill before Congress that would protect Gay, Lesbian, Bi, and Transgender students from this very type of discrimination. If you would like to take a stand against this discrimination, contact your Congressman/Woman and ask them to support and pass The Student Non-Discrimination Act

This bill, if passed, would “end discrimination based on actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity in public schools, and for other purposes.” You can read the entire bill at the link above.

I urge all of you to call Congress and voice your support of this bill. If you are unsure of who to talk to you may visit the House of Representatives website at http://www.house.gov/ to find out who your Congressional Representative is.

Stop teaching hate, don’t discriminate

Listen to the message from Mrs. Parker here

Hater Parents, you should be ashamed!

2010-03-03T19:40:00.001-08:00

I am contacted constantly by Gay, Lesbian, Bi and Transgender teenagers and in almost every case they all say the same thing. I wish my parents were as understanding as you are.

I hear horror stories of how these children are treated because of their sexuality by their own parents and it makes me sick. These are your children, whether they are L, G, B, or T, should not matter at all!!!

Unfortunately, many parents are failing to follow the one simple rule of parenting, loving your children, unconditionally, no matter what. You do not raise your children to be who you want them to be, but rather to be strong enough to be who they really are.

A parent that kicks their child out of the house, breaks their child's arm, or beats the shit out of them does not deserve the honorable title of parent! Parenting is about love, teaching and acceptance...How anyone could treat their own flesh and blood in such a cruel and hateful manner escapes me.

If you are one of the parents that I am talking about, I urge you to seek help immediately, because what you are doing is wrong. It is called abuse and no one deserves to be abused, no matter what your belief's are on the matter of sexuality.

For the record, if you beat your child because of their sexuality, I think you should be charged with a hate crime...because that is exactly what it is.

Accepting your child is actually not that difficult. You just have to open your mind and your heart.

Remember that this is the same child that you anticipated, joyfully for 9 months. You changed this child's diaper, fed them, stayed up all night with them, and comforted them when they were sick. Once upon a time the mere thought of harm coming to this sweet child of yours would actually cause you physical pain. Yes, this child before you, is that same child; yet now the pain they feel is being caused by you.

The acceptance is there inside of you...for there is no greater love than that of a parent for their child. You merely have to open yourself and and reach for it.

WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT

2009-09-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

MY OPINION

This makes no sense to me. If homosexual's can be foster parents, then why can't they adopt the children they are raising? This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. There are so many children that need homes and by all accounts and testimony, these two little boys are in a loving, safe home. So why shouldn't these wonderful people be allowed to adopt them? Because their gay???

And as for the rest of it...Hello...the divorce rate among straight, married couples is at 50%...I think that shows that all couples are prone to break ups, regardless of their sexuality.

The mental illness thing is what really throws me...Yes there are people who are more prone to mental illness then others, but I don't think there are any statistic's that show Gays are any more likely then straights.

Basically what these idiots are saying is gays are good parents, they do a wonderful job...they can raise children as foster parents...those kids just can't have their last name!!!!! Maybe they have a problem with hyphen's!

Dumb asses!

In Fla. Adoption Case, State Argues Gays Prone to Mental Illness, Breakups

Jordana Mishory

Daily Business Review

August 27, 2009

http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1202433375336&In_Fla_Adoption_Case_State_Argues_Gays_Prone_to_Mental_Illness_Breakups

Frank Martin Gill took in two young boys on a temporary basis five years ago. Now, the North Miami, Fla., foster father said he would be "absolutely devastated" if the state removed his two foster children.

"Children need permanency, and I feel strongly they need permanency with our family," Gill told a horde of reporters, lawyers and spectators Wednesday after his attorneys challenged the constitutionality of a 1977 state law banning adoptions by gay parents at a hearing before the 3rd District Court of Appeal.

Gill, who is openly gay, attended the hourlong appellate argument about the future of his foster sons. He applied to adopt them in 2006. Miami-Dade Judge Cindy Lederman ruled for Gill last November when she found the law irrational. Whoever loses the appeal before the 3rd DCA is expected to appeal to the Florida Supreme Court.

The state defended the gay adoption ban in general terms without attacking the suitability of Gill's parenting in arguments before a three-judge panel and a standing-room-only crowd of more than 150 people.

Citing the five-year foster relationship, Judge Vance Salter noted the state is espousing contradictory messages. The Department of Children and Families maintains having the half brothers, now 9 and 5, stay with Gill and his longtime partner would be best for the boys.

"The state doesn't contest that this is in the best interest of the children," Salter observed.

Deputy Solicitor General Timothy Osterhaus, who argued for DCF, said, "We do not."

But Osterhaus maintains gays as a group can be excluded based on higher rates of domestic violence, psychiatric disorders and breakups.

He argued the law is valid under a rational basis legal test, which Lederman rejected.

All of the problems cited by DCF are screened for in the adoption process, said Elliot Scherker, a Greenberg Traurig shareholder in Miami who represents the children, and American Civil Liberties Union attorney Leslie Cooper of New York. They noted the state makes daily determinations on fit parents.

"There's no reason for group bias," Scherker said.

Cooper disputed the state's statistical claims, saying there is no disparity in domestic violence between gay and heterosexual people. She also maintained the breakup rates for gay couples with children is "virtually identical" to heterosexual couples with children.

Scherker recited the list of state stipulations in the case: DCF agrees Gill would be a good parent. DCF agrees adoption by Gill would be in the best interest of the children. DCF allows gay parents to be legal guardians and foster parents.

"The father is a gay man. But that didn't concern the state when they placed [the children] in his care," he said.

Judge Gerald Cope Jr. said: "This is as far as I can tell the only absolute disqualification under the statute. How is that fair?"

He noted state law doesn't disqualify adoptive parents on the basis of criminal history, drug use or disabilities.

Judge Frank Shepherd asked if adoption exclusions would be permitted if any group exhibited higher rates of unacceptable traits.

Cooper responded those issues are screened out individuality and "group generalization makes no sense."

The state brought the boys, known in court papers as John and James Doe, to Gill in December 2004 when the boys were 4 years and 4 months old. Lederman concluded the older boy was the baby's primary caregiver when the state interceded and they clearly had been poorly taken care of.

"On that December evening, John and James left a world of chronic neglect, emotional impoverishment and deprivation to enter a new world, foreign to them, that was nurturing, safe, structured and stimulating," Lederman wrote in her Nov. 25 order declaring the state's gay adoption ban unconstitutional.

She found no rational, scientific or moral reason to uphold the ban.

"This court is satisfied that the issue is so far beyond dispute that it would be irrational to hold otherwise; the best interests of children are not preserved by prohibiting homosexual adoption," the judge wrote. "There is no question the blanket exclusion of gay applicants defeats Florida's goal of providing dependent children a permanent family through adoption."

The state appealed Lederman's ruling, claiming expert studies show gay people face adverse conditions such as higher suicide rates and their children will face discrimination and higher rates of sexual activity.

A number of groups filed friend-of-the-court briefs on both sides of the issue. The family law section of the Florida Bar filed a brief opposing the ban. The Florida Supreme Court refused to block the brief when a challenge was filed.

Florida adopted its gay adoption ban in 1977 when former Miss America contestant Anita Bryant was railing against gay rights. Miami-Dade County passed and then voters repealed an ordinance banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation the same year.

The state has the nation's most restrictive ban on gay adoption. The Florida law has withstood several constitutional attacks at both the state and federal level. A number of other states allow single gay people to adopt children but not partners in a same-sex relationship.

A Monroe Circuit judge declared Florida's gay adoption ban unconstitutional last August, but the state did not appeal because DCF said it no longer had jurisdiction over the child.

The fight over gay adoption in Florida is set against a backdrop of expanding same-sex marriage and civil unions in other states. Florida had a law banning gay marriage when voters added the ban to the state constitution last November.

Orlando, Fla., attorney John Stemberger, who spearheaded the amendment, attended the arguments and acknowledged afterward that adoption by Gill would be best for the boys. But he contends the law is justified because children do better with a mother and a father.

"If you put these children up for adoption, I can find you 10 parents ready to adopt them like that," Stemberger told a hostile crowd outside the hearing room. No other parents came forward to adopt the boys before Gill applied.

During Stemberger's statements, a shouting match broke out among spectators. Someone hollered that Stemberger didn't care about what was best for the children.

Gill told the crowd that a lot of gay people make great parents, and he knows straight people who shouldn't raise children. He maintains parents should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
While awaiting a ruling, Gill said he's taking it day by day and trying to enjoy every day with his foster sons.

Osterhaus indicated DCF still wants the children to be adopted.

Following the hearing, ACLU co-counsel Robert Rosenwald of Miami said the state should not uproot the children.

"The state asked to tear them from the only home they have ever known," he said. "It's unconscionable that the state has taken that position."

Adoption laws outdated

Gay couples face hurdles in the struggle for children

Abby Harvey

http://media.www.spectatornews.com/media/storage/paper218/news/2009/09/03/Editorialopinion/Adoption.Laws.Outdated-3762324.shtml

I am the proud aunt of four little nieces and one little nephew. All of them were lucky enough to be born into a loving family that could take care of them. Not all children are this lucky.

Nationally, just more than 115,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted. Over 1,200 of these children are residents in Wisconsin, according to http://www.kidsarewaiting.org/.

Recently, an adoption case in Florida has caught a lot of attention. The case is that of Martin Gill, the foster father of two young boys, referred to as John and James. John and James were put in foster care after being taken from an abusive and neglectful home.

They were placed with Gill and his partner. In Florida, it is legal for a gay couple to foster children, but it is the only state where it is illegal for gay people to adopt in any way.

John and James have been living with Gill for a few years and have now been put up for adoption.

The case went through court Wednesday and surprisingly, the court supported Gill, agreeing that he's an excellent parent, that the boys have bonded with the family and that moving them would be detrimental.

The court agreed with the 30 child welfare and legal groups that support Gill. However, they also stated that while they disagree with the law that is preventing Gill from adopting John and James, they have to uphold it.

There is a general consensus that the case will end up in the Supreme Court. We can only hope that they will agree that the law is unconstitutional.

In an article published in the Miami Herald Saturday, Adam Pertman, who heads the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, said there is no evidence that shows it is harmful for children to be raised by gay or lesbian parents.

While, as I've stated, Florida is the only state that completely prohibits adoption by LGBT couples, several other laws elsewhere in the country make it difficult. In several states it is illegal for single (unmarried) people to adopt. This is an issue, being that these couples are not allowed to marry.

In Wisconsin, while it is legal for same sex couples to adopt, the laws on joint adoption are a bit fuzzy.

This means that due to red tape, unmarried same sex couples may not be able to adopt together. The child would legally only have one parent.

Another form of same-sex adoption is referred to as second-parent adoption and this is prohibited in Wisconsin. In this form of adoption, one parent already has legal rights of the child. A second parent petitions for joint rights and the initial parent does not give up parental rights.

The point is that even in Wisconsin, there are so many legal hurdles preventing same-sex couples from starting families and it doesn't make any sense. The only reason that, a perfectly fit, excellent father (by several accounts), cannot adopt the children he has been raising for years is that he's gay.

I can't even claim this to be some sort of government cover up. The courts themselves have admitted that very fact. So now, what's going to be done about it?

Gill's case is not unique; there are many couples in this situation nationwide, the difference is that Gill's case could be the one to elicit change. Rosa Parks was not the first African American to refuse to move, and Gill is not the first gay man to protect his family against prejudiced laws, I sincerely hope he can be the last.

Harvey, a senior print journalism major and chief copy editor for The Spectator, can be reached at harveyal@uwec.edu.

An unjust law on adoption

By Howard Simon, Special to the Times

In Print: Friday, September 4, 2009

http://www.tampabay.com/opinion/essays/an-unjust-law-on-adoption/1033569

Last week, Florida's 3rd District Court of Appeal heard the state's appeal of the victory the American Civil Liberties Union achieved this past November when the Miami-Dade Circuit Court struck down Florida's ban on adoptions by gay men and lesbians.

With approximately 3,500 children languishing in the state's scandal-ridden foster care system, the issue before the court was whether the law can deny a child a safe, secure and permanent home because of the sexual orientation of the adoptive parent.

But there was another issue facing the court: How bad does a law have to be and still survive a court challenge? We all know that the Legislature sometimes passes bad laws, but should policies that are based on prejudice and stereotypes that masquerade as science survive as law?

Children trapped in Florida's foster care system have been held hostage to ugly antigay prejudice for far too long. The ACLU has been challenging this policy for years, and we have urged the Legislature to repeal the law so judges are allowed to make decisions based on the best interests of children.

We achieved a landmark victory in November 2008, when the circuit court granted an adoption to Martin Gill, a gay man who has been raising two foster children since 2004. Martin and his partner were planning to relocate out of state until they were asked by the Department of Children and Families to care for two terribly neglected young brothers. The state brought the children, malnourished and infested with lice, to the Gill home and asked that they provide foster care. Since 2004, Martin and his partner have provided the boys the only safe and stable home they have ever known.

When Martin later applied to adopt the boys, his application was denied by DCF officials who based their decision solely on the 1977 Anita Bryant-inspired ban. Florida continues to be the only state to ban adoption by qualified gays and lesbians. The ACLU sued on Martin's behalf, and in a reasoned decision the circuit court granted the adoption.

The court ruled that the ban violated the equal protection guarantees of the state Constitution because it treats differently, for no rational reason, gay people and the children they raise. The court also found that the ban denies children the right to permanency in violation of the due process clause of the Florida Constitution and the federal Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997.

The court's decision came after a four-day trial, during which the court heard from the foremost experts on children's health and development and listened to the justifications offered by the state for the ban. The court rejected the false assumptions and stereotypes about gay people presented by the state, and instead credited the many reports and studies that find no differences in parenting by gays and nongays or the adjustment of their children.

The court held that "these conclusions have been accepted, adopted and ratified by the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatry Association, the American Pediatric Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Child Welfare League of America and the National Association of Social Workers. As a result, based on the robust nature of the evidence available in the field, this court is satisfied that the issue is so far beyond dispute that it would be irrational to hold otherwise; the best interests of children are not preserved by prohibiting homosexual adoption."

The state immediately appealed and now the case is before an appellate court. This is likely not the end of this battle, and it will probably land in the lap of the Florida Supreme Court.

While it is important to win legal battles, it is equally important to change hearts and minds and debunk myths and prejudices so that our victories in court are sustainable and enduring. This saga shows how much easier it is in Florida to enact bad legislation than to repeal bad laws.

Wiping this law off the books, whether by the courts or the Legislature, would help provide more children with permanent, loving and stable families.

For the past 30 years, state officials have tried to defend a law that did little more than give vent to prejudices and is now repudiated by every professional organization with expertise in the rearing of healthy children. For the last five years, Martin Gill has provided a nurturing home for two neglected brothers who are now thriving.

I know which side should prevail in this battle.

Howard Simon is executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida.

MOMMY WILL NEVER WEAR THOSE SHOES AGAIN....MY GAWD

2009-09-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

Talk about uncomfortable...

I was trying to get my groove on and about killed myself, so I took them off...I know right!

I get to my BGF(best gay friend's) and outspoken flamer that he is...points at my feet and goes, "Oh my Gaaaaaaaaawd...your feet are soooooo dirty...go wash! LMAO

I did have a really good time that night...but the rest of the night is just my little secret. My hottie and I had some fun is the most you will get from me...

GOING OUT TONIGHT!!!! ABOUT TIME, I NEED A MOMMY BREAK!

2009-08-14T14:37:00.001-07:00

Whoooo Hooo...Mommy got a new pair of shoes..well two pair actually, but who's counting..

Check them out and tell me what you think. I got the same exact shoe in Pink and Yellow...they are so hot...And they make me about 4 inches taller.

I cannot wait to go out tonight...I haven't been out in months and trust me when I say, I need a mommy break. By mommy break I mean I need to be around people who call me by my name instead of yelling the word M O M constantly. I know that my children believe that I can fix anything that goes wrong in their world without ever needing a break...but that is just not the truth. The truth of the matter is if I didn't take time for myself on occassion, go out and have a little fun...I wouldn't be able to be as good of a mom as I am.

So for all of you parents out there...remember to take some time for yourself, it helps you function as a parent, it keeps you sane, and it gives you a break for a little while so you can associate with people your own age and cut loose. It doesn't matter if you are going to the club, shopping or out for coffee with a friend...these breaks are much needed time for you, it relieves stress and makes being a parent easier for you and your children.

REPORT: GAY BIAS KILLINGS HIGHEST SINCE 1999

2009-08-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

Incidents increased by 28 percent in 2008 compared to 2007

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31390167/

NEW YORK - The number of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people killed in bias-motivated incidents increased by 28 percent in 2008 compared to a year ago, according to a national coalition of advocacy groups.

Last year's 29 killings was the highest recorded by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs since 1999, when it documented the same number of slayings, according to a report released Tuesday by the coalition.

"What we're also seeing, more disturbingly, is the increase in the severity of violence," said Sharon Stapel, executive director of the New York City Anti-Violence Project, which coordinates coalition.

Stapel theorized that at least some of last year's violence was backlash against issues that arose during the during the presidential campaign. She cited debates about same-sex marriage, the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy, and federal legislation that would ban employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity as possible flash points.

"The more visibility there is the more likely we're going to see backlash, and that's exactly what we see here," Stapel said.

Overall, the number of victims who reported anti-LGBT violence in 2008 increased by 2 percent compared to 2007, said the New York-based coalition of programs in 25 states.

Figures said to be more accurateCoalition officials say their figures are more accurate than those from law enforcement agencies. As an example, they say, the FBI doesn't record bias crimes against transgender people because gender identity isn't covered by federal hate-crime law.

Also, victims sometimes are reluctant to report bias incidents to police because they don't want to reveal their sexual orientation or gender identity and/or they fear bias from police, officials said.

Reports of physical abuse by police increased to 25 incidents last year from 10 in 2007, the report said.

For the new report, programs in Milwaukee, Minnesota, Chicago, Los Angeles, Colorado, Columbus, Ohio, Houston, Pennsylvania, New York City, Kansas City, Missouri, Michigan and San Francisco submitted data.

Programs in Vermont and the Boston area participated in the 2007 report but not the current one. The program in Rochester, N.Y., participated in 2008 for the first time.

The largest increase — 64 percent — was in Milwaukee, where the number of reported incidents rose to 18 in 2008 from 11 in 2007, the report said.

Officials weren't sure whether reported increases were attributable to more people reporting incidents or an actual rise.

'It's a vulnerable population'Meighan Bentz, a victim outreach advocate at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, which includes an anti-violence project, said, "I think it's a combination."

"Certainly there are more people reporting," Bentz said, adding that the project started in 2005. "As time goes on there are more people aware of our program as a resource."

Bentz added, "I do believe there are ongoing issues of violence and its affect upon LGBT individuals. It's a vulnerable population."

Many of 2008's incidents made headlines.

In December, a man was beaten to death in New York City while he walked arm in arm with his brother as their attackers yelled anti-gay and anti-Latino epithets. Two men have been charged with murder as a hate crime.

In February 2008, 15-year-old Lawrence King was shot to death at school in Oxnard, Calif., near Malibu after enduring harassment after he told classmates he was gay; a classmate is charged as an adult in the killing, which prosecutors classified as a hate crime.

Last June, a surveillance tape was publicized showing Memphis, Tenn., police officers beating Duanna Johnson, a transgender woman, and shouting slurs in a jail booking area; a public outcry erupted.

In November, Johnson was found fatally shot on a Memphis street.

(This is the News Article that Matthew Lush's father sent him a copy of. I felt it was important to find it and post it here. Please be careful when you are out, be aware of your surroundings, avoid dark alley's. I find it really sad that I have to caution you like this because of the hate of other people but sadly, the only way to try and protect yourself is to take extra care.)

THE COMING OUT STORY

2009-07-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

In terms of acceptance, my son is lucky.

I read and hear from so many gay friends that when they came out their parents kicked them out, disowned them, made them read the bible, go to church and beg for forgiveness, took them to counseling like they had some kind of mental disease...Hell I even have friends that are in their 30's and 40's...who still have not told their parents!

A child should not be afraid to tell their parents anything, and the complete and utter failure in the parent/gay child relationship is the fault of the parent, not the child. I have said it before and I cannot stress it enough, a parents job is to love their child--NO MATTER WHAT!!!

I was not the first person my son told he was gay, he actually came out to my two very best gay friends, who told him...tell your mom, she won't have a problem with it. NOT YOUR MOM!!! TRUST ME.

My son came home from their house...I remember we didn't even make in the door before he said, "Mom, I need to tell you something." Well, I looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Your gay aren't you?" Shocked the living shit out of him!!!! Hey I didn't become Queen Faghag to my friends for my lack of gaydar!!!

My son just looked at me and said, "yes, how did you know?" I will admit I started to cry, not because he is gay, but because I was watching all my dreams of a look-a-like grandchild fly right out the window. (he is the only child that looks like me...in fact he is more like me then I readily admit..we even have the same taste in men.)

Truthfully, the main thing I felt was fear...fear that some asshole would find out my son was gay and kill him or hurt him in someway. He is so young and trusting! The thought of loosing him is terrifying. I love this child more then my life, it was never a question of accepting him just the way he is for me, but of protecting him from the crazy, bible thumping idiots in this world, who although their bible tells them not to...judge anyone and everyone who isn't just like them, harshly.

The next step in his coming out was to tell my husband...the big, straight as an arrow, Marine. LOL I have never been as proud of my husband as I was that night. I mean this is his stepchild coming to him, telling him he is gay. His response, and I quote, "I don't care, I love you anyway!" and that was that. I mean we went through the be careful when your out..there are a lot of crazies in this world, Wear a condom cause HIV is real and it will kill you, you can still give me a grand baby, right? speech...but on the whole Joe's coming out wasn't anything other then a normal parent/child conversation!

I admire my son, he is the bravest person I know. When he came out, he was 14 almost 15 and he was out!!! WAY OUT. He told everyone, us, grandparents, his real dad, all his friends, his brother (who was pissed because he felt he missed the male bonding ritual of oogling girls with his brother, which he can now do with his bi-sexual sister:) his sisters, and his entire school. On the whole he was completely accepted by his family and friends.

Some of his teachers were unsure of where to put him on over night field trips...but that was easily worked out, when I told them to put him with the girls and they would be perfectly safe...lol I told them to put him with the other boys, that he was gay...not a rapist. Took care of that problem real quick! I hate discrimination and deal with it quickly...

Joe has had his share of discrimination and hate, but has dealt with it in a manner that I admire. I am so proud of him! The thing that really upset me, was instead of tormenting him...because gay or not he will kick some ass, and these haters know it, they tormented his sister. Dani had this one guy who continually got into her face, saying, "your brothers a fucking faggot." To say the least, he did not know who he was messing with. My daughter is 5' 8" and mean as hell. We joke around here that she is teeched (touched)...to say the least, this boy does not mess with her now!

I think it has been so easy for me to accept my son being gay because I have always had gay friends. I have witnessed the love and commitment in these relationships first hand and know it isn't about perversion. I believe my son was born this way, because this is who he is meant to be..that the goddess doesn't make mistakes. I am also very open minded and have this crazy idea of wanting my children to be happy no matter what. I want them to know love, have a good life, and be their selves.

And frankly, when it comes to love I don't care if the person that makes them happy is white, black, brown, yellow, green or the same sex and dresses in rainbow colored clothes.....as long as they are happy, treated right and LOVED...nothing else matters!

RELATIONSHIP DRAMA!!!!

2009-07-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

OMG so my son and his boyfriend got into this huge argument the other day...and my son turned into a woman...right in front of me.

I am talking bobble head, finger waving...I know you didn't, hold my earrings...I have had it, straight up drama!!! (just like his momma) Unfortunately, for him, he was in the wrong and then had to spend the next 6 hours begging for forgivness, just like a straight man.

Joe and his boyfriend have been together for about 11 months. Chase is a wonderful person, I absolutely love him, these two are so in love...that it is almost sickening to watch...lol

Look at how cute they are together and you can see the love they feel for each other written on their faces...How can love like this be wrong?

Like all couples they do have their moments and the other day was one of them, they have since made up and worked it out. Yea!!! .... I live in fear that they will break up and Chase will no longer be around...I would miss him so much and I love him like one of my own.

Joe did buy Chase a ring and pop the big question...but they are still so young. I can only hope that they are in it forever because I couldn't ask for a better son in law!

AND YES, I SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Have you ever noticed that all of the gay haters only focus on the sexual relationship of homosexuality??? They never pay any attention to the actual love and committment involved in these relationships! Why do you think that is??? Post your answers in the comment section.

NATURE VS NURTURE DEBATE

2009-07-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

I love this article, this was the first article that I read after my son came out. (yes I looked it up) As a parent of a gay child I had to wonder if he was gay because of something I had done, how I had raised him. Did I overprotect him too much? Baby him? Was this some how my fault?

When I read this article, it became clear to me that my son had always been gay. His actions and mannerisms had always been different. I mean he had a girlfriend for over a year and never even kissed her...what teenaged boy does that.

I accepted that my son was gay from the moment I knew for sure, that doesn't mean that I didn't cry...I did, but not because he is gay...I was terrified some bigoted idiot would hurt him because of his sexuality, I was worried about how hard his life was going to be, how people would treat him, and because I really want grandchildren!!!

It never crossed my mind to do as some parents have, kick him out, threaten him, disown him, force him to read the bible, and some of the other horrific things I have heard of parents doing to their children because they are gay. This is my son, I raised him...I love him, the most important job of any parent is loving and accepting your children...no matter what.

For those parents who children have come out, remember this:

They are still your child, the child you tucked in at night, the child who ran to you anytime they were hurt so you could kiss their boo boo's and make them all better. They are the child that you told repeatedly that you would always love them and be there for them...don't let them down now...they need you more then ever.

To the young gay people who may be reading this blog...the most important thing you can do in your life is be true to who your really are. Pretending to be something you are not to please your family and/or friends will only make you miserable. If any of you need to talk...hit me on the email.

What Makes People Gay?

The debate has always been that it was either all in the child's upbringing or all in the genes. But what if it's something else?

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/articles/2005/08/14/what_makes_people_gay/

By Neil Swidey August 14, 2005

With crystal-blue eyes, wavy hair, and freshly scrubbed faces, the boys look as though they stepped out of a Pottery Barn Kids catalog. They are 7-year-old twins. I'll call them Thomas and Patrick; their parents agreed to let me meet the boys as long as I didn't use their real names.

Spend five seconds with them, and there can be no doubt that they are identical twins - so identical even they can't tell each other apart in photographs. Spend five minutes with them, and their profound differences begin to emerge.

Patrick is social, thoughtful, attentive. He repeatedly addresses me by name. Thomas is physical, spontaneous, a bit distracted. Just minutes after meeting me outside a coffee shop, he punches me in the upper arm, yells, "Gray punch buggy!" and then points to a Volkswagen Beetle cruising past us. It's a hard punch. They horse around like typical brothers, but Patrick's punches are less forceful and his voice is higher. Thomas charges at his brother, arms flexed in front of him like a mini-bodybuilder. The differences are subtle - they're 7-year-old boys, after all - but they are there.

When the twins were 2, Patrick found his mother's shoes. He liked wearing them. Thomas tried on his father's once but didn't see the point.

When they were 3, Thomas blurted out that toy guns were his favorite things. Patrick piped up that his were the Barbie dolls he discovered at day care.

When the twins were 5, Thomas announced he was going to be a monster for Halloween. Patrick said he was going to be a princess. Thomas said he couldn't do that, because other kids would laugh at him. Patrick seemed puzzled. "Then I'll be Batman," he said.

Their mother - intelligent, warm, and open-minded - found herself conflicted. She wanted Patrick - whose playmates have always been girls, never boys - to be himself, but she worried his feminine behavior would expose him to ridicule and pain. She decided to allow him free expression at home while setting some limits in public.

That worked until last year, when a school official called to say Patrick was making his classmates uncomfortable. He kept insisting that he was a girl.

Patrick exhibits behavior called childhood gender nonconformity, or CGN. This doesn't describe a boy who has a doll somewhere in his toy collection or tried on his sister's Snow White outfit once, but rather one who consistently exhibits a host of strongly feminine traits and interests while avoiding boy-typical behavior like rough-and-tumble play. There's been considerable research into this phenomenon, particularly in males, including a study that followed boys from an early age into early adulthood. The data suggest there is a very good chance Patrick will grow up to be homosexual. Not all homosexual men show this extremely feminine behavior as young boys. But the research indicates that, of the boys who do exhibit CGN, about 75 percent of them - perhaps more - turn out to be gay or bisexual.

What makes the case of Patrick and Thomas so fascinating is that it calls into question both of the dominant theories in the long-running debate over what makes people gay: nature or nurture, genes or learned behavior. As identical twins, Patrick and Thomas began as genetic clones. From the moment they came out of their mother's womb, their environment was about as close to identical as possible - being fed, changed, and plopped into their car seats the same way, having similar relationships with the same nurturing father and mother. Yet before either boy could talk, one showed highly feminine traits while the other appeared to be "all boy," as the moms at the playgrounds say with apologetic shrugs.

"That my sons were different the second they were born, there is no question about it," says the twins' mother.
So what happened between their identical genetic starting point and their births? They spent nine months in utero. In the hunt for what causes people to be gay or straight, that's now the most interesting and potentially enlightening frontier.

WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHERE HOMOSEXUALITY COMES FROM?

Proving people are born gay would give them wider social acceptance and better protection against discrimination, many gay rights advocates argue. In the last decade, as this "biological" argument has gained momentum, polls find Americans - especially young adults - increasingly tolerant of gays and lesbians. And that's exactly what has groups opposed to homosexuality so concerned. The Family Research Council, a conservative Christian think tank in Washington, D.C., argues in its book Getting It Straight that finding people are born gay "would advance the idea that sexual orientation is an innate characteristic, like race; that homosexuals, like African-Americans, should be legally protected against 'discrimination;' and that disapproval of homosexuality should be as socially stigmatized as racism. However, it is not true."

Some advocates of gay marriage argue that proving sexual orientation is inborn would make it easier to frame the debate as simply a matter of civil rights. That could be true, but then again, freedom of religion enjoyed federal protection long before inborn traits like race and sex.

For much of the 20th century, the dominant thinking connected homosexuality to upbringing.

Freud, for instance, speculated that overprotective mothers and distant fathers helped make boys gay. It took the American Psychiatric Association until 1973 to remove "homosexuality" from its manual of mental disorders.

Then, in 1991, a neuroscientist in San Diego named Simon LeVay told the world he had found a key difference between the brains of homosexual and heterosexual men he studied. LeVay showed that a tiny clump of neurons of the anterior hypothalamus - which is believed to control sexual behavior - was, on average, more than twice the size in heterosexual men as in homosexual men. LeVay's findings did not speak directly to the nature-vs.-nurture debate - the clumps could, theoretically, have changed size because of homosexual behavior. But that seemed unlikely, and the study ended up jump-starting the effort to prove a biological basis for homosexuality.

Later that same year, Boston University psychiatrist Richard Pillard and Northwestern University psychologist J. Michael Bailey announced the results of their study of male twins.

They found that, in identical twins, if one twin was gay, the other had about a 50 percent chance of also being gay. For fraternal twins, the rate was about 20 percent. Because identical twins share their entire genetic makeup while fraternal twins share about half, genes were believed to explain the difference. Most reputable studies find the rate of homosexuality in the general population to be 2 to 4 percent, rather than the popular "1 in 10" estimate.

In 1993 came the biggest news: Dean Hamer's discovery of the "gay gene." In fact, Hamer, a Harvard-trained researcher at the National Cancer Institute, hadn't quite put it that boldly or imprecisely. He found that gay brothers shared a specific region of the X chromosome, called Xq28, at a higher rate than gay men shared with their straight brothers. Hamer and others suggested this finding would eventually transform our understanding of sexual orientation.

That hasn't happened yet. But the clear focus of sexual-orientation research has shifted to biological causes, and there hasn't been much science produced to support the old theories tying homosexuality to upbringing. Freud may have been seeing the effect rather than the cause, since a father faced with a very feminine son might well become more distant or hostile, leading the boy's mother to become more protective. In recent years, researchers who suspect that homosexuality is inborn - whether because of genetics or events happening in the womb - have looked everywhere for clues: Prenatal hormones. Birth order. Finger length. Fingerprints.

Stress. Sweat. Eye blinks. Spatial relations. Hearing. Handedness. Even "gay" sheep.

LeVay, who is gay, says that when he published his study 14 years ago, some gays and lesbians criticized him for doing research that might lead to homosexuality once again being lumped in with diseases and disorders. "If anything, the reverse has happened," says LeVay, who is now 61 and no longer active in the lab. He says the hunt for a biological basis for homosexuality, which involves many researchers who are themselves gay or lesbian, "has contributed to the status of gay people in society."

These studies have been small and underfunded, and the results have often been modest. Still, because there's been so much of this disparate research, "all sort of pointing in the same direction, makes it pretty clear there are biological processes significantly influencing sexual orientation," says LeVay. "But it's also kind of frustrating that it's still a bunch of hints, that nothing is really as crystal clear as you would like."

Just in the last few months, though, the hints have grown stronger.

In May, Swedish researchers reported finding important differences in how the brains of straight men and gay men responded to two compounds suspected of being pheromones - those scent-related chemicals that are key to sexual arousal in animals. The first compound came from women's urine, the second from male sweat. Brain scans showed that when straight men smelled the female urine compound, their hypothalamus lit up. That didn't happen with gay men.

Instead, their hypothalamus lit up when they smelled the male-sweat compound, which was the same way straight women had responded. This research once again connecting the hypothalamus to sexual orientation comes on the heels of work with sheep. About 8 percent of domestic rams are exclusively interested in sex with other rams. Researchers found that a clump of neurons similar to the one LeVay identified in human brains was also smaller in gay rams than straight ones. (Again, it's conceivable that these differences could be showing effect rather than cause.)

In June, scientists in Vienna announced that they had isolated a master genetic switch for sexual orientation in the fruit fly. Once they flicked the switch, the genetically altered female flies rebuffed overtures from males and instead attempted to mate with other females, adopting the elaborate courting dance and mating songs that males use.

And now, a large-scale, five-year genetic study of gay brothers is underway in North America. The study received $2.5 million from the National Institutes of Health, which is unusual.

Government funders tend to steer clear of sexual orientation research, aware that even small grants are apt to be met with outrage from conservative congressmen looking to make the most of their C-Span face time. Relying on a robust sample of 1,000 gay-brother pairs and the latest advancements in genetic screening, this study promises to bring some clarity to the murky area of what role genes may play in homosexuality.

This accumulating biological evidence, combined with the prospect of more on the horizon, is having an effect. Last month, the Rev. Rob Schenck, a prominent Washington, D.C., evangelical leader, told a large gathering of young evangelicals that he believes homosexuality is not a choice but rather a predisposition, something "deeply rooted" in people. Schenck told me that his conversion came about after he'd spoken extensively with genetic researchers and psychologists.

He argues that evangelicals should continue to oppose homosexual behavior, but that "many evangelicals are living in a sort of state of denial about the advance of this conversation." His message: "If it's inevitable that this scientific evidence is coming, we have to be prepared with a loving response. If we don't have one, we won't have any credibility."

AS THE 21-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE JUNIOR IN A HOSPITAL JOHNNY slides into the MRI, she is handed controls with buttons for "strongly like" and "strongly dislike." Hundreds of pornographic images - in male-male and female-female pairings - flash before her eyes. Eroticism eventually gives way to monotony, and it's hard to avoid looking for details to distinguish one image from the rest of the panting pack. So it goes from "Look at the size of those breasts!" to "That can't be comfortable, given the length of her fingernails!" to "Why is that guy wearing nothing but work boots on the beach?"

Regardless of which buttons the student presses, the MRI scans show her arousal level to each image, at its starting point in the brain.

Researchers at Northwestern University, outside Chicago, are doing this work as a follow-up to their studies of arousal using genital measurement tools. They found that while straight men were aroused by film clips of two women having sex, and gay men were aroused by clips of two men having sex, most of the men who identified themselves as bisexual showed gay arousal patterns. More surprising was just how different the story with women turned out to be. Most women, whether they identified as straight, lesbian, or bisexual, were significantly aroused by straight, gay, and lesbian sex. "I'm not suggesting that most women are bisexual," says Michael Bailey, the psychology professor whose lab conducted the studies. "I'm suggesting that whatever a woman's sexual arousal pattern is, it has little to do with her sexual orientation." That's fundamentally different from men. "In men, arousal is orientation. It's as simple as that. That's how gay men learn they are gay."

These studies mark a return to basics for the 47-year-old Bailey. He says researchers need a far deeper understanding of what sexual orientation is before they can determine where it comes from.

Female sexual orientation is particularly foggy, he says, because there's been so little research done. As for male sexual orientation, he argues that there's now enough evidence to suggest it is "entirely in-born," though not nearly enough to establish how that happens.

Bailey's 1991 twin study is still cited by other researchers as one of the pillars in the genetic argument for homosexuality. But his follow-up study using a comprehensive registry of twins in Australia found a much lower rate of similarity in sexual orientation between identical twins, about 20 percent, down from 50 percent. Bailey still believes that genes make important contributions to sexual orientation. But, he says, "that's not where I'd bet the real breakthroughs will come."

His hunch is that further study of childhood gender nonconformity will pay big. Because it's unclear what percentage of homosexuals and lesbians showed CGN as children, Bailey and his colleagues are now running a study that uses adult participants' home movies from childhood to look for signs of gender-bending behavior.

Cornell psychologist Daryl Bem has proposed an intriguing theory for how CGN might lead to homosexuality. According to this pathway, which he calls "the exotic becomes erotic," children are born with traits for temperament, such as aggression and activity level, that predispose them to male-typical or female-typical activities. They seek out playmates with the same interests. So a boy whose traits lead him to hopscotch and away from rough play will feel different from, and ostracized by, other boys. This leads to physiological arousal of fear and anger in their presence, arousal that eventually is transformed from exotic to erotic.

Critics of homosexuality have used Bem's theory, which stresses environment over biology, to argue that sexual orientation is not inborn and not fixed. But Bem says this pathway is triggered by biological traits, and he doesn't really see how the outcome of homosexuality can be changed.
Bailey says whether or not Bem's theory holds up, the environment most worth focusing in on is the one a child experiences when he's in his mother's womb.

LET'S GET BACK TO THOMAS AND PATRICK. BECAUSE IT'S UNCLEAR why twin brothers with identical genetic starting points and similar post-birth environments would take such divergent paths, it's helpful to return to the beginning.

Males and females have a fundamental genetic difference - females have two X chromosomes, and males have an X and a Y. Still, right after conception, it's hard to tell male and female zygotes apart, except for that tucked-away chromosomal difference. Normally, the changes take shape at a key point of fetal development, when the male brain is masculinized by sex hormones. The female brain is the default. The brain will stay on the female path as long as it is protected from exposure to hormones. The hormonal theory of homosexuality holds that, just as exposure to circulating sex hormones determines whether a fetus will be male or female, such exposure must also influence sexual orientation.

The cases of children born with disorders of "sexual differentiation" offer insight. William Reiner, a psychiatrist and urologist with the University of Oklahoma, has evaluated more than a hundred of these cases. For decades, the standard medical response to boys born with severely inadequate penises (or none at all) was to castrate the boy and have his parents raise him as a girl. But Reiner has found that nurture - even when it involves surgery soon after birth - cannot trump nature. Of the boys with inadequate penises who were raised as girls, he says, "I haven't found one who is sexually attracted to males." The majority of them have transitioned back to being males and report being attracted to females.

During fetal development, sexual identity is set before the sexual organs are formed, Reiner says. Perhaps it's the same for sexual orientation. In his research, of all the babies with X and Y chromosomes who were raised as girls, the only ones he has found who report having female identities and being attracted to males are those who did not have "receptors" to let the male sex hormones do their masculinizing in the womb.

What does this all mean? "Exposure to male hormones in utero dramatically raises the chances of being sexually attracted to females," Reiner says. "We can infer that the absence of male hormone exposure may have something to do with attraction to males."

Michael Bailey says Reiner's findings represent a major breakthrough, showing that "whatever causes sexual orientation is strongly influenced by prenatal biology." Bailey and Reiner say the answer is probably not as simple as just exposure to sex hormones. After all, the exposure levels in some of the people Reiner studies are abnormal enough to produce huge differences in sexual organs. Yet, sexual organs in straight and gay people are, on average, the same. More likely, hormones are interacting with other factors.

Canadian researchers have consistently documented a "big-brother effect," finding that the chances of a boy being gay increase with each additional older brother he has. (Birth order does not appear to play a role with lesbians.) So, a male with three older brothers is three times more likely to be gay than one with no older brothers, though there's still a better than 90 percent chance he will be straight. They argue that this results from a complex interaction involving hormones, antigens, and the mother's immune system.

By now, there is substantial evidence showing correlation - though not causation - between sexual orientation and traits that are set when a baby is in the womb. Take finger length. In general, men have shorter index fingers in relation to their ring fingers; in women, the lengths are generally about the same. Researchers have found that lesbians generally have ratios closer to males. Other studies have shown masculinized results for lesbians in inner-ear functions and eye-blink reactions to sudden loud noises, and feminized patterns for gay men on certain cognitive tasks like spatial perception and remembering the placement of objects.

New York University researcher Lynn S. Hall, who has studied traits determined in the womb, speculates that Patrick was somehow prenatally stressed, probably during the first trimester, when the brain is really developing, particularly the structures like the hypothalamus that influence sexual behavior. This stress might have been based on his position in the womb or the blood flow to him or any of a number of other factors not in his mother's control. Yet more evidence that identical twins have womb experiences far from identical can be found in their often differing birth weights. Patrick was born a pound lighter than Thomas.

Taken together, the research suggests that early on in the womb, as the fetus's brain develops in either the male or female direction, something fundamental to sexual orientation is happening. Nobody's sure what's causing it. But here's where genes may be involved, perhaps by regulating hormone exposure or by dictating the size of that key clump of neurons in the hypothalamus. Before researchers can sort that out, they'll need to return to the question of whether, in fact, there is a "gay gene."

THE CROWD ON BOSTON COMMON IS THICK ON THIS SCORCHER of a Saturday afternoon in June, as the throngs make their way around the 35th annual Boston Pride festival, past booths peddling everything from "Gayopoly" board games to Braveheartian garments called Utilikilts. Sitting quietly in his booth is Alan Sanders, a soft-spoken 41-year-old with a sandy beard and thinning hair. He's placed a mound of rainbow-colored Starbursts on the table in front of him and hung a banner that reads: "WANTED: Gay Men with Gay Brothers for Molecular Genetic Study of Sexual Orientation."

Sanders is a psychiatrist with the Evanston Northwestern Healthcare Research Institute who is leading the NIH-funded search for the genetic basis of male homosexuality (http://www.gaybros.com/).

He is spending the summer crisscrossing the country, going to gay pride festivals, hoping to recruit 1,000 pairs of gay brothers to participate. (His wife, who just delivered their third son, wasn't crazy about the timing.) When people in Boston ask him how much genes may contribute to homosexuality, he says the best estimate is about 40 percent.

Homosexuality runs in families - studies show that 8 to 12 percent of brothers of gay men are also gay, compared with the 2 to 4 percent of the general population.

Sanders spends much of the afternoon handing out Starbursts to people who clearly don't qualify for a gay brothers study - preteen girls, adult lesbians wearing T-shirts that read "I Like Girls Who Like Girls," and elderly women in straw hats who speak only Chinese. But many of the gay men who stop by are interested in more than free candy. Among the people signing up is James Daly, a 31-year-old from Salem. "I think it's important for the public - especially the religious right - to know it's not a choice for some people," Daly says. "I feel I was born this way."

(In fairness, there aren't many leaders of groups representing social and religious conservatives who still argue that homosexual orientation - as opposed to behavior - is a matter of choice. Even as he insists that no one is born gay, Peter Sprigg, the point person on homosexuality for the Family Research Council, says, "I don't think that people choose their sexual attraction.")

In the decade since Dean Hamer made headlines, the gay gene theory has taken some hits. A Canadian team was unable to replicate his findings. Earlier this year, a team from Hamer's own lab reported only mixed results after having done the first scan of the entire human genome in the search for genes influencing sexual orientation.

But all of the gene studies so far have been based on small samples and lacked the funding to do things right. Sanders's study should be big enough to provide some real answers on linkage as well as shed light on gender nonconformity and the big-brother effect.

There is, however, a towering question that Sanders's study will probably not be able to answer.

That has to do with evolution. If a prime motivation of all species is to pass genes on to future generations, and gay men are estimated to produce 80 percent fewer offspring than straight men, why would a gay gene not have been wiped out by the forces of natural selection? This evolutionary disadvantage is what led former Amherst College biologist Paul Ewald to argue that homosexuality might be caused by a virus - a pathogen most likely working in utero. That argument caused a stir when he and a colleague proposed it six years ago, but with no research done to test it, it remains just another theory. Other scientists have offered fascinating but unpersuasive explanations, most of them focusing on some kind of compensatory benefit, in the same way that the gene responsible for sickle cell anemia also protects against malaria. A study last year by researchers in Italy showed that female relatives of gay men tended to be more fertile, though, as critics point out, not nearly fertile enough to make up for the gay man's lack of offspring.

But there will be plenty of time for sorting out the evolutionary paradox once - and if - researchers are able to identify actual genes involved in sexual orientation. Getting to that point will likely require integrating multiple lines of promising research. That is exactly what's happening in Eric Vilain's lab at the University of California, Los Angeles. Vilain, an associate professor of human genetics, and his colleague, Sven Bocklandt, are using gay sheep, transgenic mice, identical twin humans, and novel approaches to human genetics to try to unlock the mystery of sexual orientation.

Instead of looking for a gay gene, they stress that they are looking for several genes that cause either attraction to men or attraction to women. Those same genes would work one way in heterosexual women and another way in homosexual men. The UCLA lab is examining how these genes might be turned "up" or "down." It's not a question of what genes you have, but rather which ones you use, says Bocklandt. "I have the genes in my body to make a vagina and carry a baby, but I don't use them, because I am a man." In studying the genes of gay sheep, for example, he's found some that are turned "way up" compared with the straight rams.

The lab is also testing an intriguing theory involving imprinted genes. Normally, we have two copies of every gene, one from each parent, and both copies work. They're identical, so it doesn't matter which copy comes from which parent. But with imprinted genes, that does matter.

Although both copies are physically there, one copy - either from the mom or the dad - is blocked from working. Think of an airplane with an engine on each wing, except one of the engines is shut down. A recent Duke University study suggests humans have hundreds of imprinted genes, including one on the X chromosome that previous research has tied to sexual orientation.

With imprinted genes, there is no backup engine. So if there's something atypical in the copy from mom, the copy from dad cannot be turned on. The UCLA lab is now collecting DNA from identical twins in which one twin is straight and the other is gay. Because the twins begin as genetic clones, if a gene is imprinted in one twin, it will be in the other twin as well. Normally, as the fetuses are developing, each time a cell divides, the DNA separates and makes a copy of itself, replicating all kinds of genetic information. It's a complicated but incredibly accurate process. But the coding to keep the backup engine shut down on an imprinted gene is less accurate.

So how might imprinted genes help explain why one identical twin would be straight and the other gay? Say there's an imprinted gene for attraction to females, and there's something atypical in the copy the twin brothers get from mom. As all that replicating is going on, the imprinting (to keep the copy from dad shut down) proceeds as expected in one twin, and he ends up gay. But somehow with his brother, the coding for the imprinting is lost, and rather than remain shut down, the fuel flows to fire up the backup engine from dad. And that twin turns out to be straight.

IN THE COURSE OF REPORTING THIS STORY, I EXPERIENCED A good deal of whiplash.

Just when I would become swayed by the evidence supporting one discreet theory, I would stumble onto new evidence casting some doubt on it. Ultimately, I accepted this as unavoidable terrain in the hunt for the basis of sexual orientation. This is, after all, a research field built on underfunded, idiosyncratic studies that are met with full-barreled responses from opposing and well-funded advocacy groups determined to make the results from the lab hew to the scripts they've honed for the talk-show circuit.

You can't really blame the advocacy groups. The stakes are high. In the end, homosexuality remains such a divisive issue that only thoroughly tested research will get society to accept what science has to say about its origin. Critics of funding for sexual orientation research say that it isn't curing cancer, and they're right. But we devote a lot more dollars to studying other issues that aren't curing cancer and have less resonance in society.

Still, no matter how imperfect these studies are, when you put them all together and examine them closely, the message is clear: While post-birth development may well play a supporting role, the roots of homosexuality, at least in men, appear to be in place by the time a child is born.

After spending years sifting through all the available data, British researchers Glenn Wilson and Qazi Rahman come to an even bolder conclusion in their forthcoming book Born Gay: The Psychobiology of Sex Orientation, in which they write: "Sexual orientation is something we are born with and not `acquired' from our social environment."

Meanwhile, the mother of twins Patrick and Thomas has done her own sifting and come to her own conclusions. She says her son's feminine behavior suggests he will grow up to be gay, and she has no problem with that. She just worries about what happens to him between now and then.

After that fateful call from Patrick's school, she says, "I knew I had to talk to my son, and I had no clue what to say." Ultimately, she told him that although he could play however he wanted at home, he couldn't tell his classmates he was a girl, because they'd think he was lying. And she told him that some older boys might be mean to him and even hit him if he continued to claim he was a girl.

Then she asked him, "Do you think that you can convince yourself that you are a boy?"

"Yes, Mom," he said. "It's going to be like when I was trying to learn to read, and then one day I opened the book and I could read."

His mother's heart sank. She could tell that he wanted more than anything to please her.

"Basically, he was saying there must be a miracle - that one day I wake up and I'm a boy. That's the only way he could imagine it could happen."

In the year since that conversation, Patrick's behavior has become somewhat less feminine. His mother hopes it's just because his interests are evolving and not because he's suppressing them.

"I can now imagine him being completely straight, which I couldn't a year ago," she says. "I can imagine him being gay, which seems to be statistically most likely."

She says she's fine with either outcome, just as long as he's happy and free from harm. She takes heart in how much more accepting today's society is. "By the time my boys are 20, the world will have changed even more."

By then, there might even be enough consensus for researchers to forget about finger lengths and fruit flies and gay sheep, and move on to a new mystery.

Neil Swidey is a member of the Globe Magazine staff. He can be reached at swidey@globe.com.

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2009-07-25T21:20:00.001-07:00

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